Aftermath
by daphnedescends
Summary: The senshi deal with having failed their mission and paying the ultimate price.
1. Beginning of the End

Aftermath  
  
The five figures stood silently in the semi-darkness. Too stunned to speak. Too horrified to move. Their leader had been defeated up by the last and greatest evil ever to face the senshi, and while they had avenged her, the emptiness still engulfed them as they stood staring, unseeingly at each other. The last few moments flashed through their minds. They once again heard the fight, the attack shouts, the sounds of the battle, the scream of terror as the one they were born to protect fell to her death...the anguished, silent cry of loss they all felt inside them, but only uttered by one. He lay there on the ground now, having lost his reason for living. What was he to do now? How could he go on without her? One girl stirred, as if awakening from a sleep, or coma. "Mamoru..." Rei whispered as he lay, shuddering uncontrollably "oh Mamoru." Her voice awoke the other girls, who looked around at each other as if wondering how they had gotten there, what they were doing, who they were. Rei looked at her friends. They had all failed their mission - to protect the moon princess from any harm. Usagi had perished at the hands of the Negaverse, and now it seemed they had no more reasons for anything. Hotaru fell to her knees beside the dark-haired man. He looked up at her, and what she saw in his eyes broke her heart. So much pain, longing...and shock. He collapsed, and she embraced him. "It's over." Minako whispered. They had defeated the Negaverse. at the ultimate price.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It had been a week since it happened. The girls had gone to school as usual, lived their lives as if trying to forget. But they couldn't pretend she wasn't gone, couldn't make out like it had never happened. One afternoon, they found themselves gathered at the temple with Luna and Artemis. Usagi's parents had continued to care for Luna, but she hadn't been eating, and her bones jutted out from her black fur. Makoto broke the silence. "I saw Naru-chan today," she said, hesitantly. They hadn't spoken to each other much; they could barely find anything to say. Ami looked up. "Did you...say anything?" she asked. Makoto sighed. "She looked so lost...I couldn't bring myself to even meet her eyes." Mamoru and Chibi-Usa had rarely coming out of their rooms. Hotaru had moved from the room she shared with Chibi-Usa in with Makoto and Ami. They would have thought it cramped if the circumstances were different. Mamoru and Chibi-Usa had gone for a walk the previous day, however. The girl stumbled alongside her father, leaning on him for support with tears streaming relentlessly down her cheeks. Mamoru hadn't been eating or sleeping, and it showed. He was gaunt and pale. and empty. A hollow shell with only the slightest sign of life...the pink-haired child hanging onto his arm. "We can't go on like this," Ami said. "We'll kill ourselves." "What can we do though?" Rei spoke up. "Act like it never happened? Like we never knew her? Like it wasn't our destiny to never let anything like this happen? How can we?" Rei burst into tears. "We failed her, and we failed Queen Serenity." Minako reached out to Rei and the dark haired girl leant against her, sobbing. There was more uncomfortable silence, with only the sounds of the wind in the trees, and leaves scattering across the temple steps in small whirlwinds. "Hotaru.why didn't you do it? Why didn't you use your attack to save her?" Minako asked suddenly. Hotaru looked up quickly, then her eyes softened. "I would have killed all of you, only she and I would still be alive," she answered quietly. "At least she would be alive, and that's the whole point!" Rei shouted through her tears. "Unless you wanted her to die!" The other girls gasped in horror. Hotaru stood up, angry. "I tried, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and neither would you!" Hotaru shouted back. "You may be tough Rei but in the end that's not what matters. Unless you're so callous you would look your best friend in the eye and destroy everyone she cares about!" "Hotaru, Rei, please!" Ami cried. "We can't blame one another, this is a time we should be sticking by each other!" Hotaru glanced at Ami and then looked around at the other senshi. They looked back at her sadly, all except Rei, who stared at her with an unreadable expression, then looked away. Hotaru turned and ran, down the temple steps and out into the street. Not looking where she was going she stumbled and fell into the path of an oncoming bus. She lay staring, paralysed as the bus came towards her. Then someone grabbed her and pulled her off the road. Hotaru lay on her back on the sidewalk, eyes closed, hardly daring to breathe. "Hotaru?" a voice whispered tentatively. She opened her eyes. "Rei.? But." She sat up and Rei hugged her, crying. "I'm sorry Hotaru, I didn't mean what I said, I know you didn't want her to die, and. I understand that you couldn't have killed us for her." She held the younger girl tighter, they were both crying now. "I don't know what we would have done if we'd lost you too." 


	2. Remembrance

Hotaru put down her pen and notepad. She knew someone had to tell the other outer senshi what had happened, but it was difficult. How could she tell them that the one they were all born to protect was dead? She made up her mind. It couldn't be put in a letter. She reached for the phone and dialled Haruka's number. 

"Hello?" the familiar, cheerful voice of Michiru sent a wave of despair over Hotaru. "Uh...hello?" 

"Um...Michiru...it's me," she mumbled. 

"Hotaru? What is it? I can tell something's wrong." Michiru's voice sounded concerned, with good reason. Hotaru sighed deeply. 

"Oh Michiru. It's been...awful..." 

"What is it, Hotaru? Tell me!" Michiru sounded frightened now. "Or let me speak to Usagi." 

Hotaru began to sob. Minako reached over and patted her shoulder. 

"I can't, Minako...I can't..." Hotaru broke off. 

"It's ok," Minako held out her arms to Hotaru as Ami took the phone. 

"Michiru? It's Ami..." 

"Ami, tell me what's going on!" Michiru cried. 

Ami looked at Hotaru, who was leaning on Minako's shoulder. "Um...Michiru, are you sitting down? Are Setsuna and Haruka there?" she asked. 

"Is Usagi ok? What's wrong with Hotaru?" Michiru cried. 

"Listen, um...no Usagi's not, she's um...." Ami struggled. 

"I wish I could have just told her." Hotaru whispered. Minako hugged her. 

"Well the good news is the Negaverse is gone for good," Ami said bitterly. "But Usagi...she didn't..." 

Michiru drew her own conclusion. "Oh...no…Usagi..." 

"What is it Michiru?" Ami could hear Haruka's voice. There was a sound as if the phone had been dropped. "Michiru!" Now it was Setsuna's voice. 

"Ami just told me...Usagi...she's..." 

There was a click and Ami heard a dial tone. She put the phone down and turned to the two girls sitting on the bed. 

"It was so hard...not being there." 

Minako reached out and hugged Hotaru and Ami. "We'll get through this," she murmured. "We have to." 

"Dinner, everyone!" called Makoto from downstairs. The two older girls reached the door and Ami turned back. 

"Hotaru? Are you coming?" she asked. 

"Yeah…just give me a second," Hotaru smiled reassuringly, wiping her eyes. "I just want to do something first." 

Ami nodded and she and Minako left. Hotaru went to her chest of drawers and opened the second. She took out a small box, which she opened with a key on a chain around her neck, and lifted out a pressed flower. This was the rose that Usagi had left in the drawer for her on the day Hotaru had moved in with the senshi and Mamoru. A tear rolled down her cheek as she put the rose back in the box, which she locked and put back in the drawer. She sighed, and then turned to leave the room. She saw a movement in the corner of her eye, and then crossed the room to close the window and stop the curtains blowing in the wind. As she closed the window she looked down on the street. A girl with blonde odango was walking around the corner! Hotaru raced down the stairs and out the front door, then to the corner. She looked down the street, but there was nobody there. 

As she walked dejectedly into the kitchen, she realised they must have wondered what on earth she had been doing, rushing out like that. They looked up as she entered the dining room, which was softly lit by a chandelier. As usual, the two places occupied by Chibi-Usa and Mamoru were empty. Hotaru sighed. 

"Where did you go?" Makoto asked the dark-haired girl as she took her seat. 

"I thought I saw…it doesn't matter," Hotaru said, looking down at her plate. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder. 

"Are you ok, Hotaru?" Rei asked. Hotaru smiled sadly at the other girl. 

"No, but I will be. We all will be. She wouldn't want us to be so sad all the time." 

Hotaru suddenly remembered that on her first night, Makoto had made meatballs. 

Makoto looked at her plate. "She'd want us to eat!" 


	3. The Process Of Moving On

Minako looked at the clock beside her bed, which read 3:47 AM in luminous green letters. The past month and a half had been the toughest of her life, tougher even than when she'd first arrived in America. Since Usagi's death relationships between the senshi had been strained, almost to breaking point, but they were finding their way through by staying close to one another, strengthening the bonds that had made them so close in the first place, and for this they had Usagi to thank. Even in her death she was helping them, encouraging them and watching over them like a guardian angel, as only she could. Usagi had been the most important person in each of their lives, and not just because she was the reason they were alive at all, but because she was such a vibrant, cheerful and amazing person, and she continued to do this. 

Minako had been having trouble sleeping. Her thoughts were always muddled and ran through her mind like tornados when she tried to just blank out and sleep. As she watched, the clock flashed over to 4:00 AM. She picked it up and threw it across the room, and it landed with a thump somewhere she couldn't see, but she heard a cracking sound. Rei grunted sleepily and rolled over in her bed. 

Looks like she would have to turn to the drugs again. 

* * * * * 

Makoto looked up from the frying pan as Minako staggered into the kitchen. 

"Bacon and eggs, Minako-chan?" she said, wafting the smell over to her friend who sniffed the air appreciatively. 

"Thanks, Mako-chan, I'd like that. Where is everyone?" Minako ran her fingers through her blonde hair, in need of a wash. 

Makoto bustled about the kitchen. "Mamoru and Chibi-Usa have gone out, for a walk I think, Rei's at the temple and Ami and Hotaru are at the library. Here," Makoto passed Minako her breakfast then followed her into the dining room with her own. "What have you got planned for the day?" 

"I thought we might go shopping," Minako said between bites. "We haven't been in so long, and I guess I just miss it. What do you think?" Minako looked at Makoto questioningly, shoveling forkfuls of food into her mouth. 

"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. I guess you were hungry, huh?" Makoto laughed as her friend gulped down two slices of bacon at once. "You remind me of..." she broke off, and the two girls couldn't meet each other's gaze. Makoto had been about to mention Usagi. They busied themselves with their food, then once finished Minako went upstairs for a shower, and Makoto cleaned up the kitchen. 

* * * * * 

Minako finished blow-drying her hair and tied her red ribbon into it. 

"Better," she muttered. She looked into the mirror at the pale, skinny girl she saw there, with bags under her eyes. "Maybe I should see a doctor...?" 

"Minako! Nearly ready?" Makoto called from behind the door. 

"Yeah, I've just got to get my bag," Minako said as she left the bathroom, "and we can go into town." 

She rummaged around her room, looking for it, finally locating it under her desk. This room needs a clean, she thought. She checked the bag to make sure her money, phone and keys at least were in there, opened the window a bit and closed to door behind her on the way out. Rei didn't like it when the room became stuffy. Although it is autumn, Minako grinned to herself. She reminded herself to clean the room when she got back, or Rei would be on her case again. No wonder. 

When Minako and Makoto reached the town, Makoto parked her car and they started walking down the sidewalk. 

"Was there anything in particular you wanted to buy?" Makoto asked as they walked. 

"I need a new alarm clock, I kind of lost my other one, and I think it's broken." Minako replied sheepishly. "I want to buy some more clothes, too, because in my opinion, you can never have too many clothes. And also most of the clothes I have are...too small for me now." Minako went on. "Hey, clock shop, in here Mako-chan!" she pulled the tall brunette into a shop full of clocks, obviously, being a clock shop and all. 

"Aw, this clock looks just like Artemis!" she cried, holding up a clock in the shape of a white cat. 

"That's weird," Makoto said, frowning at the clock. "Ami once told me that once when she went shopping with... when she went shopping, she saw a clock that looked like Luna, and it turned out to be..." she lowered her voice "a Negaverse trick." 

Minako eyed the clock critically. 

"Come on Makoto, we've... we've ended all that." 

The two girls stared sadly at the clock as Minako put it down. 

"I wanted a digital clock, anyway," she said. 

"May I help you?" said a friendly, female voice. It was the shop assistant. 

"I'm looked for a digital alarm clock," Minako told her. 

"Right this way," the assistant said cheerfully. Makoto picked up the white clock as Minako followed the assistant to another part of the shop. The cat even had eyes like Artemis. Weird. 

As she reached Minako and the shop assistant Minako turned around with two clocks. 

"Which one Makoto?" she asked. 

"Umm…" Makoto eyed them. "The left one." 

"I'll take it!" Minako said to the assistant. She paid for her purchase and they left the shop. 

* * * * * 

"So what did you guys do today?" Ami asked Minako and Makoto over dinner that evening. 

"We went shopping," Minako told her "and I bought a new clock." 

"I found the pieces of that clock when I got home this afternoon." Rei said. 

"No that was the _old_ clock, I bought a _new_ clock." Minako corrected her. 

"What else did you get?" Hotaru wanted to know. 

"Minako got a top and some ribbons, and I got new jeans and a jacket." Makoto informed them. 

"Will you show them to me later?" Hotaru asked as she speared a potato. 

"Sure," Minako smiled at the younger girl. She looked around at her friends. They were all dealing with this in different ways, but all moving on. Usagi would have liked that. 


	4. Together

Rei stood in line at the Chinese take-away restaurant, to give Makoto a well-deserved break from cooking for 7 people every night. They hadn't been out together in a long while, but no one really felt up to it, not since… 

Somehow Rei thought that the others didn't realize how much this affected her. She felt so guilty, having always criticized Usagi, whether it was her 30% on tests or her annoying wailing (often about the 30% on tests), or the way she always ate so much, once having swallowed a whole sausage in two bites, _without_ chewing. She knew deep down that she hadn't really meant it, and it hurt her that she couldn't take any of it back. 

Lost in her own thoughts, Rei didn't realise the girl behind the counter was calling her until she snapped out of it. 

"Miss…miss? May I take your order, miss?" 

"Oh!" she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," Rei said, embarrassed. She gave the girl her order then took a seat next to a blonde girl who was humming annoyingly. Rei frowned, then turned to her. 

"Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude but could you please…" she cut off in mid-sentence. "Usagi?" 

The girl with the odango turned and smiled unsurely at Rei. 

"I'm sorry?" 

Rei stared at the unfamiliar girl in wonder. 

"Oh…um…sorry, I thought you were someone I knew." She slumped down in her seat, blushing furiously. The girl turned away. 

"Number 12," the girl behind the counter called to Rei. 

"Thanks," she said as she took the large bag. Leaving the restaurant she mentally kicked herself. Of course it wasn't Usagi. Usagi was dead, and no matter how much Rei wished she could change that, it wasn't going to happen. 

* * * * * 

After helping clear up dinner that night, Rei went up to the room she shared with Minako, finding it a mess as usual. Clothes were strewn everywhere and she could barely see the floor. Minako was lying on her unmade bed, nodding her head to the music coming from her earphones as she turned the pages of her magazine. 

"Oh well," Rei muttered. "Whatever floats her boat. Just so long as she doesn't mess up my half." 

She turned to her own neat side of the room and picked up the phone. 

"Haruka, hi! Listen, you know it's Hotaru's birthday next week? Yeah, her 16th. Well, if you guys aren't busy I think she'd really like you to come down for a couple of days." 

* * * * * 

Four days later, in the evening, Makoto was cooking a special birthday dinner for Hotaru while the others watched TV. For presents Hotaru had gotten clothes from Makoto and Minako, a mobile phone from Ami, a portable CD player from Mamoru, a beautiful leather bound notebook and silver engraved pen from Rei and a CD and book from Chibi-Usa. 

A horn beeped outside in the street as Makoto came in from the kitchen. 

"Is that them?" she asked Rei. Rei went to the window and looked out at the glow of streetlamps, then ran into the hall. 

"It is! Come on guys!" she cried as she went out the front door. 

Everyone wondered who Rei meant as she rushed outside. When Hotaru followed them out the door she stared in surprise, as she saw her "foster" family of Haruka, Setsuna and Michiru coming up the driveway. She raced down and hugged each one as they laughed at the girl's delight. 

"What are you all doing here?" 

"Rei asked us to come for your birthday, you didn't think we'd pass that up, did you?" Michiru said as she hugged the younger girl. As everyone was going back inside Hotaru stopped Rei. "Thanks, Rei." Rei gasped for air as Hotaru hugged her with all her might. 

"It was nothing," she said as she hugged her back. 

"It wasn't," Hotaru told her earnestly. "This really means a lot to me." 

"Come on, Makoto will have dinner ready." The two girls closed the door behind them as a girl with odango walked down the street. 


End file.
